A Ministry of Love

While I was driving back home after work, I had a bit of time to be quiet and hear myself think. Two thoughts keep popping up my mind - "serenity" and "gratitude".

I have a tough week, since Thursday night.
The passing of Jen Ruw hits me hard, not only grieving on the lost of a brother whom I always enjoyed his presence and never fail to cheer me up.
It was the memories that bring back memories…

I thought I was strong enough.
Somehow, I did not cry when I got to know about this, I did not cry when I saw him lifeless in his own room, I did not cry when I went to see him in the mortuary.
But I could not hold on to it anymore during the Wake Service. I decided to let it go and let it out.
For a moment, I could not differentiate for whom I'm grieving for; it's really tough to go through the whole thing all over again. It's like the emotional dam that you have been fortified for the past 3.5 years suddenly collapse.
But I guess it’s good to let it all out, and to start anew with God.
Once again I’m at peace with God, once again I’m reminded about what does life amounted to.

Reading Yow Looi’s sharing was indeed a great encouragement. I’m very grateful for such leader; he set a very fine and inspiring example for us to follow.

1 Cor 13:1-3,8 "... If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing ... Love never fails."

Everyone who wants to improve or be useful or effective in something, must go through hard training. Being strong does not mean being great, but the ability to withstand. But how do you train the heart to be strong? By going through trials of hurts and withstanding them.

The ministry of God is a ministry of love, for anything short of love falls short of His will, and love can only comes from the heart. In my life & ministries, many times had God put me through the test and trials of all kinds that was painful. I suppose everyone goes though their fair share of hurts. Sometimes we become fearful to put our hearts to it knowing the hurt it can come with. But if I serve not with my heart, I always feels it falls short to pleasing God because one can serve just out of duty. Many people lose heart after hurt and we go on in life bitterly and our ministries become cold. How we need to look to God, and when you get your perspectives right, you'll grow stronger instead. And that's what the ministries need. That's how we ought to serve.

The pass week has been one of the hardest days to pass. I feel like I've lost a son or a young brother. I asked God why it has to happen, not the first time, but this time it just seemed so much harder. The first time I went through the whole process of a love one dying, going through every step to the end, each process carries a great pain. But I suppose asking why is not the right question but remaining faithful is what we need to do so that in due time it will fulfill His purpose. I guess this is how our heart matures.

In the Myanmar work too, we say goodbye very suddenly all the time as we do not know when they will be resettled in 3rd countries. And so, we need to keep restarting again and again... with much love for each individual.

In Him,
Yow Looi

"Don't cry that he's gone. Be happy that you had him." - I’m grateful that I have had them in my life.

And, I need to start to care and love more.